Bring Me To Life
by phantomheartsfeeltoo
Summary: Isabella Swan is a 20 year old woman in and out of rehab. For Edward Cullen it was either jail or rehab.
1. Prologue

He had it again, he knew that. He gripped the edge of the sink, looking down as a tear ran down his eye. And there was that feeling again, he stumbled over to the toilet as the liquids came rushing out.

That only made his cries worse. He stayed there for a while, just staring at the wall until he decided to get back up and walk right back to her.

"You okay?" she whispered, he nodded and took her hand as he pulled her over to him.

The girl slowly got on the bed, being very careful, as if not to hurt him, he was fragile in her eyes right now, she lay next to him as he put his arm around her, finally feeling comfortably and hugging her tightly. He sighed heavily as his eyes closed.

The girl hummed to herself as she played with his hair, she looked at her hands, and silently started crying at the sight of what was on her hands.

She kissed his forehead and for the first time in her life she prayed. She didn't know how to start, but she knew what to pray for, so she did. She prayed for him.


	2. Chapter 1

**okay guys here goes the first chapter of bring me to life,**

**im so excited, its also unbetad just like TEOTB, and if someone wants to beta me, id love that. **

**but anyways here goes!**

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"Age?", an older woman around the age of thirty asked.

"Seventeen.", replied a younger boy with looks set to kill.

"Name?" she asked.

"Edward Cullen ", he replied boredly.

"Welcome to Rehab Edward Cullen and trust me when i say this, ill be your best friend for the next two months." The lady said without humor.

Edward managed to fake a smile before he turned the corner to walk to his new "home" for the next couple of weeks.

"More like hell", he mumbled under his breath, letting his stuff fall to the floor. He looked around checking out the room, and made a look of disgust, the lack of color and plainness of the room bothered him.

"Great", he said," just what i fucking need"

His temper rising once again, he took a few deep breaths trying to calm down; it wasn't pretty when he got out of control. After he calmed down he looked at the plain walls once again.

" i wonder what other fucked up person is in this shit hole" he said to himself. He sat on his bed, and looked around the room, he sat there thinking how this place looked more like an asylum than anything else.

BEEEP! BEEEP! BEEP!

The girl woke up and looked at her alarm clock, she jumped out of bed when she noticed she had hit the snooze button more than once, that's what happened when she was high, she didn't remember her name half the time, how was she going to remember this? she had always said"

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck !" she yelled prancing around the room, looking for clothes to wear.

"im late!" the girl looked back at her dresser and noticed the white powder that was there, she scratched her neck, and bit her nails and ran right to it take a snort of it in.

"I AM NOT AN ADDICT" she repeated to herself over and over again, dressing up, brushing her teeth. It was like this every morning. She needed to feel better about herself, feel less shitty than she usually felt and she was certain she had no addiction.

"I AM NOT AN ADDICT" she said one last time heading to the door, and with those words she closed her house door and left, to the place where she felt she fit in the most.

She walked the same streets of Detroit everyday with a smile on her face, she knew what the people around her thought, but she smiled to herself, because really? she couldn't give two fucks. The could say and think whatever she wanted, but none of it would bother her, she had been through enough already.

"Good Morning, Mrs. Chambers", the girl said as she entered.

"Welcome Back Bella , We've missed you." Mrs. Chamber , the ebony woman smiled sincerely.

In some ways Mrs. Chambers felt Bella was her lost cause, it has been years in rehab and she hadn't changed one bit.

What this girl needed was a miracle.

"Theres a new patient here Bella. room 116. Please, be nice." Mrs. Chamber said.

"Do we get locks for our doors or something?" Edward said as he walked out of his room, looking down the hall to the lady behind the desk and the beautiful brunette standing next to her.

Edwards face immediately stood frozen as his heart sped up.

The girl smiled back at him and he instantly looked down, flushed, as he mumbles a never mind and walked back inside his room.

The look on his face, pleading for her not to be a patient here.

He couldn't deal with a girl right now.

He wasn't ready.

After all, a girl is what got him into this whole mess.

What drove him over the edge time and time again.

A girl was the reason he was the way he was. Why he was here in the first place.

A girl was the last thing on his mind.

Well, no, except for this one girl, that specific girl was the only thing on his mind.

She always was.

He laid down on the cold hard bed, staring at the ceiling.

''i wish i had some heroin", he breathed, looking down to his arm, he pulled up his sleeves.

Marks and scars covered his lower arms.

Every hole had a story behind it.

But no matter how long he was going to be here, he wasn't telling anyone his story.

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sooooooooo how was it ? lol did you like it ? please review and let me know

also, dont forget to follow me on twitter !


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey hey hey, okay so guys if you're reading this and you find it interesting, be sure to tell anyone else who you think might like it,**

**so anyways i hope you guys like it, the story is already completed, meaning i know how it ends, cause i have it written down, and you dont, so who knows,**

**but ill tell you this, if you review, ill give every reviewer a teaser of whats to happen, okay ? okay, hope you guys like it !**

* * *

Bella walked into her room, she already had everything in there.

She knew where to hide her things; she has been in the same room enough times to know exactly where they check and where they don't. Bella took a quick look at herself in the mirror she ran her hands through her short brown hair with red streaks, she took a quick look at how shot her eyes looked, and quickly shook her head.

This is something she did normally, trying to find the girl she was four years ago, but she didn't, as much as she wanted to change, she knew she couldn't, she did this to herself, no, no she didn't, he did, she shook that thought away and sighed and stood up remembering there was a new boy she'd like to introduce herself to and made her way to his room.

"Whats that?" a soft voice said from the doorway.

Edward glanced over and the same girl as before was standing there, looking at his arm.

He instantly yanked down his sleeve, fixing it.

"N-N-Nothing", he stuttered, sitting up slowly.

The girl jumped on the bed, startling the boy, frightening him even more as she leaned in closer to him.

He looked down nervously, cringing away from her. His breathing picking up quickly, he wasn't you to someone being this close or this friendly.

"My names Bella, what's yours?', Bella asked smiling.

He tried to calm his breathing down as he spoke.

"Edward", he mumbled, still looking down.

"Edward?", she questioned, leaning in closer so she could hear him better.

He barely managed a nod, his hair falling over his eyes a little.

"Great, i'll call you Eddie", she replied, standing up.

Edward sneaked a glance at her, his face instantly turning a light shade of red.

"You should get a haircut", she gushed, "ooo, i could do it for you. i always wanted to be a hair cutter person."

he didn't even say a word, he like how his hair looked, who was she to tell him he needed a haircut, and the word is hair stylist, he thought to himself, a moment paused and he felt a hand grab his arm, pulling him up to his feet, his eyes widening in surprise.

"Come on", Bella said, dragging him out the door.

She reached her room, threw him on the bed, and immediately searched through her stuff.

"Ahh scissors, yay!" she said excitedly. She looked at him, "I see you more as a rocker emo type hair." Daniel raised his eyebrow looking confused, what's with this girl and her descriptions ?

"you know...fall out boy, like that", she smiled. Edward looked at her nervously, he knew exactly what look she was describing, and he wasn't sure he wanted to look like fag boy pete wentz

" whatever just let me work my magic, i think you'll look adorable." And with that she tarted clipping away.

"You have really nice hair, it's so soft", she said while his hair fell onto the floor.

Clip. Clip. Was all you heard.

"Thank you Bella", she answered it herself.

"oh no problem Eddie ", she giggled.

"You're a really quiet kid", she looked at Edward, waiting for a reply, a nod even.

"right?", she was persistent. She wanted to make him talk.

"y-yes", he answered. Finally, and she smiled and replied.

"it's going to change"

Mrs. chambers suddenly came walking through the door.

"I knew, I'd find you two together", Mrs. Chambers looked at Edward.

"Well, look at that I can finally see your face"

Edward just kept a serious look in his face.

"He looks cute doesn't he?" Bella answered, quickly with a smile.

"Yes, yes he does, group meeting in 5 guys," she said, walking away. Edward rolled his eyes, running his hand s through his hair for the first time, it didn't feel all that different, he scrunched up his face confused.

"Oh you'll loooove the group meetings", she mocked. "They're the best!"

Bella laughed noticing his expression. "Half way through cutting your hair, I realized all you needed was a trim, I like the messy hair, I just hated that it covered your face"

Edward's hair was his shield, it covered him from the rest of the world, but he couldn't say anything when she was cutting it off either.

"okay, okay come on, don't look so depressed, they'll keep you here forever " she laughed and grabbed his arm and went to go meet the rest of the group.

He didn't really watch where they were going and suddenly they were in a big room, plain room just like the others but this time with a ton of other people, he instantly felt dizzy, and started backing away slowly.

The grip on his arm tightened a little.

"Its okay", Bella said, looking back at Edwards scared face.

He frowned as he hesitantly walked in.

He sat down slowly and started picking at his nails as he tried not to make eye contact with anyone, but his arms were ripped away from each other by Bella

"Stop Fidgeting", she said.

"It'll only make them ask you more questions" Edward wondered how she knew so much, how was she so friends with Mrs. Chambers? How long has she been here? His thoughts were cut short as everyone started saying there story. Everyone took turns around the room, stating their name, how they got there, Bella made a remark at every one of them, she didn't have a story, she thought, she wasn't event an addict. When her turn came she stood up and smiled.

"Hi my name is Bella Swan, and i am NOT an addict"

She said like that, like it was nothing, everyone around the room looked at her confused including Edward.

"What?" she questioned with a smiled. "I'm not" she turned to looked at Edward.

"Its your turn Eddie" she looked at him and gave him a soft smile.

"You could do it" she said encouragingly.

Edward looked around, noticing each face around him, waiting expectantly; he immediately put his head down, feeling his throat closing up. He looked in pains as he bunched his jeans in his hands. He shook his head slightly as he cringed away from everyone's glances.

He didn't like not having his hair to cover him, to shield him from the world. It felt uncomfortable.

"Eddie-", Bella began, but Mrs. Chambers cut her off.

"It's okay Bella, he just needs some time", Mrs. Chambers told her.

That made Edward feel better, that, and the fact that everyone's stares went elsewhere. They all understood. No one has it easy; no one opens up as easy.

Edward tuned everything out, the stories, the words. In reality he didn't want to be there, but it was either this, or jail. He could already feel the anxiety creeping up. He needed a cigarette and fast, he was already fidgeting too much.

Bella looked at him, and you could see the look of disappointment on her face, she wanted to hear his story, but like everyone else she understood. She understood, he was new at this, as she looked around, she noticed every face in here was new, and as it was every year. She made friends for two or three days and she would always leave again. It felt like home because she knew that no matter how many times she left, they would always welcome her back again.

It started again, the feigning, she bit the palm of her hand and scratched her neck, her hair, she couldn't take it anymore. She quickly stood up excusing herself and rushed to her room. She searched for her hidden drugs and found the heroin she had been feigning for, she sniffed and rubbed her nose, but she was so used to it, she did it regularly. As she injected the heroin in her veins, she heard someone approaching and dropped the needle.

"Shit!" she yelled.

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** i wonder who it was ? DUN DUN DUN**


	4. Chapter 3

**Surprise surprise 2 chapters in 1 day ? **

**be sure to follow me on twitter for spoilers. check out my tumbler .com**

**im the process of writing another E/B story or maybe an EM/B i dont know but i root for those two couples any day, anyways on to the chapter !**

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"Shit!" she yelled frustrated and rushed the drugs back into her secret spot, and lit up a cigarette to play it off.

Edward quickly made his way down the hall to his room, He took a few deep breaths and tried to calm himself down.

He instantly lifted his suitcase and yanked out one of the cigarettes, lighting it quickly, and instantly letting himself fall with the smell that was filling up the room.

Sitting there he felt alone, cold, he stood up and walked to Bella's room where she too was smoking on the floor.

Yet again he said nothing.

He just sat down next to her and both of them looked out the window, the silence becoming comfortable and their problems forgotten for now at least.

"You did good out there", Bella said breaking the silence taking a large pull of her cigarette.

"I know of some kids who faint when asked" she let out a soft laugh.

Edward just looked at her confused, he has never met a girl like before, and she was different, he could see that.

"You are so odd", he said, the first words hes said there while not stuttering, he's nervous, and he didn't feel nervous around her, he felt calm.

"THE KID SPEAKS!" Bella said enthusiastically. "I was starting to question whether you had a tongue or not", she said sarcastically.

Edward looked at her and remembered what she said at the meeting.

"if ..if you're not an addict, then what are you doing here?", he asked.

Bella smiled and said, "im not an addict, I just come here cause it feels right, I've been here for four years though".

Edwards eyes widened once again, he was scared, four years ? how can someone be here for four years, he thought to himself, there was no way in hell he was staying here four years.

"Four-four years?" he whispered. he looked away from bella and his face contorted disbelief.

"Eddie?... what's wrong?''. Bella asked.

"I-i am not..Staying her for four years..." He whispered again.

His knuckles turning white as his breathing picked up quickly. He stood up and looked around the room.

"Thats not-Edward-I'm not trying to say you'll be here for four years", Bella told him.

Edward shook his head roughly darting out of the room, sprinting down the hall into the corner of his hell hole between the dresser and his bed, leaving Bella standing there confused.

"Fuck outta here if these people think i'm staying for fucking four years, there out of their fucking mind" he whispered hastily.

Edward started shaking and brought his knees up to his chin.

"I'll just stay here, not moving, no drugs, nothing", he said to himself again, "Then they'll have to let me go, right?"

He slowly reached over for another cigarette, but he was shaking too badly to light it up.

"Fuck my life," he breathed as he leaned back against the wall, tuning out the world.

Bella finally barged into Edwards room, her mood gone a little bit sour, this kid needed to listen to her, he was a mess, and he was being a little over dramatic.

"Edward can you listen to me at least?" she yelled.

Edward didn't even bother looking at her, he didn't want to know anything else the only thing he did know is he wasn't going to stay in that retched place for another four years, hed leave, hed get better in a month or so and hed be on his way living his life normally, like a normal teenager should, no drugs, nothing. Bella took the chance to speak again.

"Eddy", she said sitting down on the floor. "The only reason i'm here is because..i leave, i never stay, i leave..and- and i come back, theres honestly no hope for me, thats how i see it at least."

She let out a big sigh and looked at him, she closed her eyes, and shook her head, anything but the silence, she didn't like it when it was quiet. "Talk to me please, i don't like the silence", she said.


	5. Chapter 4

**Ahhh okay ..guess what ? i have a beta ! exciting !**

**_Sunfleurcullen _thank you so much, i'd never thought id see the day, maybe cause im new at this ? ahh who knows. BUT THANK YOU THANK YOU, in other words she found me. lol**

**anyways moving on guys.**

**reviews, let me know what you think. and sorry if i've confused you. BMTL was originally a story with two different characters named Daniel and Taylor so if you saw daniel before that was a slight editing error that i did, i decided to make it an E&B story because originally thats who i pictured in my head but just them playing different characters.**

**anyways yadayadayada Edward & Bella are not mine UNFORTUNATELY, they belong to stephenie meyer, i just borrow them. **

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"Talk to me please, i don't like the silence", she said. This was true, she hated it, when she was alone she'd turn the volume of everything up, the radio, the TV, the silence made her feel uncomfortable, as if she was were being watched.

"W-Why do you think there's no hope for you?" he whispered

Bella looked at him, lighting up the cigarette he had in his hand for him.

"I just know", she replied

"You-you shouldn't give up that easily, if you've been here for four years it means you haven't tried to change at all", He said, his words surprised him as he looked back at Bella. Her face full of shock, she wasn't expecting him to tell her that, and he had no right to butt in her business like that, right when she was about to say speak, in walked Mrs. Chambers , nodding towards Edward.

"Edward..?.. It's time for your evaluation", she said, and with that Edward stood up slowly, making his way around Bella. When he reached the door he looked back at Bella, she sat on the floor her gaze fixed on the ground. He hadn't meant what he said, but he knew it was true; he turned the other way and followed Mrs. Chambers down the hall to her office.

"Do you know why you're in here Edward?" she asked immediately, as he sat down.

He barely nodded, that was a stupid question he thought, of course he knew why he was in here, he was an idiot, he let himself get involved with something that was basically life taking, he spent every day and every morning trying to find something to fulfill that feeling, but nothing. He blamed her.

"Tell me something Edward, say something I just- just want to help you, that's all", she said, pain written all over her face.

"You were a drug addict too, right?" Edward whispered, finally looking up at Mrs. Chambers.

Mrs. Chambers sat quietly her face showing discomfort and her mouth in a thin straight line. Edward shook his head and chuckled.

"Just as I thought", he spat, "You tell me, how many people are you willing to admit your problem to." His words lashing out at her. She said no more, Edward glared at her, stood up and walked straight back to his room.

Bella was not there.

He hesitated for a moment, should he go find her?

The thought flashed by almost as quickly as it came, it left.

He laid down on the bed accepting sleep with open arms, he was so tired, without the heroin it was like time was slowly dragging by, he hated that feeling.

Bella sat outside taking a whiff of her cigarette.

"Would you mind sharing?" asked a soft voice.

"I don't share with strangers, might get the herpes " Replied Bella not bothering to look to whom the voice belonged to.

"Oh but I'm no stranger, trust me" and the soft voice let out a giggle.

"Listen can you just-, CREEPY CHAN?" Bella looked at the small thin brunette with unusual big brown eyes in front of her with complete disbelief.

"Well duh, I'm the only one you ever really talked to here anyways" stated the girl.

Bella remembered the first time she met "Creepy Chan", she remembered as far as her memory would let her, the coke, the heroin had probably killed half her brain cells already. She remembered a strange but exotic looking girl walking into the meeting, she remembered the look on the rest of the group's faces as they took in, the short brunette with alien like eyes, and her hair pointing everywhere as the rest of the group judged, Bella saw a friend.

"She's weird looking" said the person next to Bella. , Bella smiled and nodded.

"I like her already" and stood up and walked to the girl.

"Hi,I'm Bella" she said.

"My name is Mary Alice, you can call me Alice, though., Do you like nose bleeds?"

Bella laughed and shook her head rejoining the conversation she was having with Alice, she didn't have to worry anymore, her best friend was here.

Edward woke up and walked back to his room, passing by Bella's, but he didn't bother looking inside, she made him angry, and what good would she do him? He needed someone who could help him deal with this, not someone who was worse than he was. He laid down on his bed again, thinking back to the past two years.

"Why am i thinking about this?" he breathed. "I need a smoke."

He walked outside only to be stopped short, standing outside next to a new random girl was Bella. He stood there debating whether he should go by or ignore them and he decided to ignore them. He went to the other side of the yard and stared out the city across from him, well aware of the stares on his back.

"Bella?" Bella turned around to find Mrs. Chambers standing by the door.

"It's your turn". sheShe stated. Bella looked at Mrs. Chambers and laughed.

"Mrs. Chambers, haven't I been evaluated enough?'" she questioned.

"Well you're still here aren't you? So obviously not, now come on." Mrs. Chambers responded with a raised eyebrow, showing she meant what she said. Bella looked at her angrily; letting what Mrs. Chambers had just said to her sink in. That was the second time someone had mentioned how long it was taken her to get better.

"I AM NOT AN ADDICT!" she yelled out startling Alice and Mrs. Chambers. Mrs. Chambers frowned and shook her head.

"Nice to see you again Alice" Mrs. Chambers finally said.

"Same here, Mrs. Chambers" Alice smiled.

Bella ran to her room and shut the door, isolating herself in a corner of it, she rocked back and forth with tears in her eyes, repeating those five words she's repeated to herself for quite a few years now.

"I am not an addict, i am not an addict, i am not an addict" she whispered, but as she closed her eyes, she was tortured with memories of her past.

Edward had seen and heard everything, taking the last whiff of the cigarette; he flicked it to the street.

He walked back inside, but this time he stopped in front of Bella's room, something told him to go inside.

And he did. There in the corner looking scared and vulnerable was Bella. Edward knew what it felt like, to be alone, he didn't like it. He walked over to her slowly, not saying a word He sat down in front of her, looked into her beautiful brown eyes and gave her a small smile. It was something, at least.

But he didn't know how she would react. Would she yell? Would she cry ? Would she be angry? Edward didn't care, maybe, just maybe, by helping her, it would eventually help him. 'Everything happens for a reason,' that was Edward's motto. And he was certain that Bella was here and he was across from her for a reason.

"I'm leaving" whispered Bella. "Tomorrow morning." She said standing up quickly.

"N-no you're not, ho-how do you expect to get better if you're always leaving?" Edward questioned her.

"I can't get better!" Bella cried.

She picked up everything, dropping all her needles on the floor; she looked at Edward, her eyes widened.

"Shit!" Bella yelled out, while finally dropping to the floor and picking them up.

"Yo-you ha-have that with you?" Edward said outraged.

Bella looked at him with a pleading look.

"Please don't say anything"

Edward felt the anger rising within him. This was the reason she was still here, she carried that shit everywhere with her, he thought.

"Well no wonder you can't get fucking better, you bring that shit with you everywhere. Doesn't it get tiring? Being alone all the time? Knowing that you're just some low life who's addicted to drugs? I'm not saying I'm any better, hell if i think about it, I'm probably just as bad as you, but at least I admit I have a problem, I've only been here for a day and I already know the type of girl you are. Oblivious to what's in front of you, trying to ignore what everyone says. Open your eyes, you can't keep doing this. You can't keep pretending that your life is perfect because it isn't. You're an addict Amanda, admit it already."

His words surprised him. He had said Amanda, when he clearly swore he would never say that name again.

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**once again. Follow me on TWITTER yo! evrydayissunday, im friendly ! & i give unbetad spoilers.**

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**phantomheartsfeeltoo.-insert the rest here-**

**Au' Revoir guys ! **

**xoxo me 3**


	6. Chapter 5

**Once again a huge thanks to my beta sunfleurcullen.**

**the chapters short, i know, forgive me, and i find myself loaded with HW, anyone want to tell me what they know about MensRea? lol just kidding !**

**but the reason its short because its getting close to a specific spot where i want it to be, i have to see where im going to stop it next chapter but i have a pretty good idea.**

**anywho, moving on**

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"Amanda? " Bella asked. "who is Amanda ?'' but before she could even finish asking her question Edward had already barged right out of the room to his safe spot leaving Bella dumfounded.

He sat there rocking back and forth shaking his head_. NO NO NO_ , his thoughts basically yelling at him,_ I did not just call her Amanda_, he sat there not realizing he had stopped breathing, everything about her made him hate himself, he tried to let sleep come, let it take him so he can finally have his peace, but instead his eyes rolled to the back of his head and everything went black.

"Helllooooooo" was all he heard half passed out. Edward opened his eyes to find a bug eyes girl staring at him with a big smile on her face.

"Hi!" Alice smiled and waved her hands in front of his face.

"You're alive, just in case you were wondering that is." she decided to point out.

Edward felt something coming up his throat and he was right, fluids rushed right out of his mouth on the floor.

"EW" Alice looked at it, scrunched up her nose, and laughed.

"I think that's meat" she said inspecting the throw up and continued on laughing.

Edward just looked at the odd girl confused, how the hell can she just stand there like that? What a freaking weirdo. He wondered who she was, what was she doing here? He sure hadn't seen her at the meetings, and then he remembered this was the new girl standing next to Bella earlier today.

"Oh I'm sorry, how rude of me!" She stated. "I'm Alice, nice to meet you."

Bella sat in her room, she decorated it a little, but nothing changed the room, it was still completely dull, she sighed, a dull room for a dull person. There was nothing good or fun about her. She had enough scars in and outside of her body for a good amount of people. She turned to look at the mirror, but this time instead of a 20 year old brunette, she saw a twelve year old innocent girl with scars and bruises all over her body, it was her. She quickly looked away, and shuddered at the memory that she was trying to hold back. She sat down on the floor and bent her knees to hide her face in between, when a sudden knock came from the door.

"Go away" Bella mumbled.

"Leave me alone, please" she truly did want to be left alone, she didn't want to be bothered by anyone, she wanted peace, a feeling she hadn't gotten since she was twelve. She wanted all the memories to just go away, she didn't want to be a drug addict, she hated it, but she loved the high. She loved how it made her feel, she loved the way all her problems seemed to just go away when she got high, but she hated that she was addicted to it. She hated that she needed to get help for it.

The knocks started at the door again.

"GO AWAY" she yelled. "JUST, PLEASE. JUST GO AWAY." The door opened, and Edward was standing right outside it.

Edward hesitated at the door before he made his way over to her, and took a seat beside her on the floor.

"I'm sorry for-for what I said before. Sometimes I get kind of angry, I don't know why I just do. I didn't mean what I said, who am I to judge you? I barely even know you…I just wanted to say I'm sorry…" he said this quietly, he wasn't used to all this conversation all the time. He played with the edge of his shirt, waiting for her to respond, hoping, praying, that she would not mention the girl's name he said before.

Bella looked up and met his green eyes, and suddenly smiled.

"I never noticed how green your eyes were, they remind me of the earth, they're beautiful"

Edward looked at her confused. "So does this mean I'm forgiven?"

"Well, I can't hold grudges." Bella said. "So, yeah I guess you are, but there's one thing I do have to ask you?" she said looking at him questioningly.

Edward nodded; he knew where this was going. Please god no, he thought, I would not speak about her.

"Who's Amanda? And why did you ever tell her what you told me?" she looked at him for a seconds and then continued

"Because you don't know my story and you don't know the reason why I'm here till this day. So, whatever anger you have towards her, DON'T take it out on me" she said a little more harshly than she would have liked.

Edward started shaking again, he couldn't tell her. He couldn't tell anyone his secrets, so he backed away from her slowly.

"J-just forget what I said to you. Sometimes I make up random names and I become delusional...its nothing really..." He stammered. She reminded him so much of her, it was killing him to be this close. He felt the walls closing in inch by inch. His breathing became jagged and he was fidgeting again. This was what he was trying to prevent. Feelings. If he just forgot about the memories that haunted him, he would be okay, he could live. But Bella's very presence made it very difficult to NOT feel anything. He was getting uncomfortable, and he gulped taking in another deep breath.

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***doing hw* oh hi there, you're back.**

**Edward: can we tell them who amanda is yet ?**

**me: uhm nope sorry.**

**edward: that bi-**

**me: cuts him off* kay bye!**


	7. Chapter 6

**Once again thanks to my beta Sunfleurcullen without her and her advice this would be an awful read, **

**i know you're reading, i don't like to be sad, and reviews make me an extremely happy person !**

**and we're finally getting somewhere**

**i don't own Edward or Bella or any of the people here, Stephenie Meyer does.**

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Bella shook her head wondering whether to believe him or not, but she chose it was best to just leave it how it was, she won't bother him about it now. Bella walked out of the room and into hers, she was tired, but she was also afraid to go to sleep, eventually sleep and the dreams she hated most caught up with her.

In her dreams Bella saw a small ten year old girl sitting on the couch, she saw a big man walking towards her and touching her small pale legs.

"It's okay" the man said.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Before the dream advanced anymore Bella woke up with tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry anymore, she didn't want to have those dreams, but she couldn't get herself to stop, she hugged herself, scrubbing her body harshly with her hands.

"My life is perfect." She finally said, closed her eyes, and let sleep sink in once again.

It was six in the morning when she awoke again.

"You cry in your sleep you know." Alice said to her. Bella looked at Alice; getting woken up by huge blue eyes gawking at her wasn't something she was used to. She stood up remembering the pending conversation she had with Edward and walked straight to his room not bothering to brush her teeth, she wanted to get through this first.

"Edward?'' she knocked on the door, no answer, she knocked quite a few more times and then poked her head in.

Edward was sleeping in his corner. Bella sighed, shut the door and decided it was better to just let him rest first.

"Everything okay Bells?" Alice asked her with a worried look on her face.

"Everything's perfect"

Edward suddenly woke up, his eyes frantically searching the room.

He was in the corner of his hell hole and he jerked up.

"I-I need-I need-" he said to himself. He brushed his fingers through his hair a couple of times, searching, looking for something, anything to calm himself.

His body was shaking, as he started to get hot flashed. He needed to get outside and fast. He ran pass Bella's room to the front yard, and fell on his knees, taking in a deep breath.

"I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this," he chanted, falling on his side on the grass.

He heard people calling his name, but when he tried to respond he couldn't move, he couldn't speak.

And then there was black.

"_C'mon Eddie, don't be a fucking chicken. Just try it." A young girl with long brown hair said to him._

"_No Amanda, that's not cool. I don't want to." Edward replied. "And my name is Edward."_

_The girl pouted and laid back down on his bed._

"_You're so boring EDDIE" she said emphasizing his hated nickname._

"_I'm sorry I'm not a drug addict A-MAN-DA." He said. _

_She gasped and sat up. _

"_I am not a drug addict." she laughed and leaned into him, laying her head on his shoulder and slowly falling asleep._

_Edward sighed. This is how it was now, she would come over, and she would do her drugs, right there, in front of him._

_But Amanda wasn't always like that. She used to be fun, bubbly, and beautiful. She still was of course, but it wasn't the same. He longed to be with her as she went to this "special place" that she so often claimed to go. _

_He wanted them to be together._

_Forever._

_She couldn't change, he knew that. But he loved her, so he would change for her. _

_It was good for a while, but then things didn't go the way he wanted them to go. More like, things stopped, turned the opposite way and went absolutely backasswards_.

Edward finally woke on his bed.

"Paper bag?" said the random voice that taunted Edward the whole day yesterday.  
Edward shook his head.  
"I see you met Alice" Bella said casually.  
"I saved his life actually"  
Bella raised her eyebrow completely confused, wondering how in the world did Alice saved Edwards life? She looked back at Edward; waiting for a confirmation or look from him saying this was true.  
Of course she knew the big eyed freak, he thought, Bella in some way was attracted to odd things and Alice was odd.

"You know Bella you never finished telling me the story of that little girl" Alice exclaimed "It's a horrible story" she frowned looking at Edward.  
Bella looked at Alice, she wanted to be angry at her but she didn't know any better.  
"Maybe later Alice, I heard someone next door had a nose bleed though"  
"Ooooo yay!" And Alice ran off leaving Bella and Edward alone. After a few minutes Bella put an end to the silence.

"You know I didn't believe you right?" she said scratching her neck, "Not one word really." Edward looked at her he knew this was going to happen, he wasn't a very good liar, he rarely lied. "It's ok you know, because it doesn't really matter, no big deal, I'm fine, everything's fine, we're good though right?" Edward said nervously. He was still shaking, but at least his breathing had calmed down. He clamped his hands shut so they wouldn't shake anymore. He instantly tried to change the subject to something more comfortable. "I want to hear the story about the little girl," He said quietly, looking at the floor.

Bella looked at Edward nervously, she wasn't ready to tell him, it was her story, and if she didn't want to share it with him she shouldn't, she wasn't sure shed ever be. He'd look at her wrong, dirty, just like her mom did, saying that it was her fault, and inside her she believed her mom, she probably did lead him on, and it was her fault, and everything that's happened to her is her fault. Bella let out a big sigh, closed her eyes, tears coming down her face, remembering what her mom told her. She wiped her tears wanting not to cry anymore.  
"It's a stupid story" she finally said.  
"You wouldn't like it."

Edward looked up but he still could not meet her gaze, "I like all kinds of stories..." He whispered.  
"It's too long", she replied.  
"Bella...I'm pretty sure we have all the time in the world. All I have is time...but, I'm not stupid. I may be crazy sometimes, but I'm not stupid. It's obvious you don't want to tell me, but it's okay i get it.", he stood up slowly, "I wouldn't want to tell anyone my story either". He whispered the last part. What was plain obvious he thought was that the "Little girl" was her. It was written all over her face. Tears and everything. He started to walk out of her room, but he stopped right at the doorway. "And Bella", he called out, turning to see her lift her head up slightly. "Stories about people like us are far from stupid, or else, we wouldn't be here." And with those final words he walked out. He hated the way his words hurt everyone around him, he always said the wrong things, especially when he was nervous.

Bella looked at the plain gray wall for a while, pondering on whether she should tell him or not, after a while she took in a deep breath stood up and walked straight to Edward's room, not looking back. It was time she decided, she needed to tell someone, and she needed to share it with someone. She barged into his room, tears in her eyes.  
"I'll tell you" she said softly wiping her tears from her face.  
Edward lay in his bed and turned his face to look at her.  
"You don't have to; it's obvious you don't want to"  
Bella shook her head.  
"I've never actually let it all out, I'll let it out to you"  
She sat down next to him and began a story she dreaded to remember while Edward listened.  
" I was ten years old, I swear I was the happiest little girl in the world, I had everything, until one day my dad came home drunk, I-I was sitting in the living room with my doll, and he-he walked close to me, he was my dad so I didn't think anything wrong, but he started rubbing my legs. Shhh he said to me. Everything's fine. He sniffed my hair, kissed my forehead." She let out a huge sigh wiping her tears. "It's alright he told me, I'm not going to hurt you, he picked me up and took me to my room, he threw me on the bed and pulled my panties down. I was so scared. Daddy no! I pleaded and I pleaded, and he still he- touched me, he hurt me, and-and made me do things to him." She breathed in deeply, she stopped not wanting to go on with the rest, but she also knew it was time to let it all out.

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**GAH ! who was expecting that ? **

**i think that's just dirty of her father**

**i dont write Edward, i wrote Bella, so i had no idea what exactly happened with Amanda,**

** but now i do cause i have the book !(..which i couldn't find..but i found it ) and you don't!**

**lets just say i dislike Amanda, not so much, but to a point.**

**REVIEWS PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE.**

**who wore purple for pride on wednesday ? i did !**

**ANYWHO! **

**until next time ! **

**xx Christine**

**follow on zee twitterr evrydayissunday**


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